The Dark Space Turnip
Year: 2026
Type: preprint
Abstract: This paper introduces the Dark Space Turnip (DST), a deliberately absurd yet internally consistent gravitational object designed to highlight the epistemic looseness of modern dark‑matter modelling. By giving the DST a defined density profile, non‑Newtonian syrup interior, rotational anisotropy, quantum‑coherent xylem fibres, and self‑healing impact dynamics, the model reproduces all major observational signatures attributed to dark‑matter subhalos. The DST framework demonstrates that if a vegetable can fit the data, the underlying cosmological model is underdetermined.
Author: willoughby, samuel james
Language: English
Subfield: Nuclear and High Energy Physics
Field: Physics and Astronomy
Domain: Physical Sciences
Open Access status: green
OpenAlex ID: W7161541263
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